Friday

I'm not really good at the whole talking about Jesus thing. I rarely offer to pray for people and I mostly just keep my faith to myself. I've been told this makes me a lousy Christian, but I don't think that's true.

Its sometimes hard to talk about God when most days I know I'm not living up to the standard he sets. Which I'm fine with, and he's fine with, but not everyone else shares our opinion. I screw up a lot. I cuss way too much. Sometimes I have too much to drink and I definitely judge people with fat kids. So I keep my faith to myself. And I try to let those brief, fleeting moments when the hope in me outshines the other stuff say what I can't. My faith is private and I'm OK with that.

Because I do really love Jesus. I love who he is- kind and generous with his heart and patient to a fault. I love him for what he did for me. The whole dying on the cross thing, but also for sticking with me in the daily stuff. Because plenty of people can make one grand gesture but few people have the patience to keep reaching down their hand and pulling me back up when I'm down. Because he can take anyone- Anyone- and turn their life around.

Even me.

I don't really like to talk about it but I figured today was as good a day as any. Jesus is real. He is who he says he is. He is good and he really loves me. And you too.

I am the Lady Gaga of the Blogosphere.

This is what happens in my head when I sit down to write anything that is destined for public viewing:

I haven’t posted anything on my blog in a while. I feel bad. My grandma really likes my blog, I should post something.

Goes to café, spends last three dollars on coffee, opens new doc in Word.

Its been such a long time since I wrote anything. I’m such a loser.

Expectations are really high now.

Let me go back and read what I wrote before.

45 minutes later.

Wow, that was decent. That one part about the thing was pretty funny.

Whatever I write next needs to be even better.

It needs to be even funnier and then WHAM! hit you right between the eyes with the insight.

It needs to blow minds.

I’m not in a mind blowing mood. I’d rather drink another coffee. I want a brownie. Coffee... Brownies... coffeebrownies?!

Looks up espresso fudge brownie recipes.

20 minutes later.

Oh that’s right, I was writing.

What should I write about?

I'm so boring, no one even wants to hear what I have to say.

And I'm never going to be as funny as that one time I was really funny.

I’m like Lady Gaga. She always has to be crazier than the last time. What was with that egg thing?

Google pictures of Lady Gaga at the Grammys.

Yeah, I’m basically Lady Gaga, only I’ve plateaued. Sucks to be me right now.

Goes and buys boxed brownie mix. Eats the batter without cooking it.

And that’s why I never post anything on my blog.